Denyse O’Leary Writes. The Baby Jesus Cries.
Denyse O’Leary posed the following question at Uncommon Descent: “Are most Discovery Institute Fellows evangelical Christians?”. As is her custom, she urged readers to visit one of her 700 blogs to get the rest of the story. I should have known better. Clicking a link to one of Granny Spice’s articles is basically the same thing as clicking one of those “YOU HAVE WON A FREE LAPTOP!” pop-up ads. There’s no free laptop and there’s no answer, other than:
I suppose so, except for the ones who are Catholics, agnostics, or Moonies or something.
Then she goes off on some bizarre tangent about Beefaloes, caterpillars and molecular clocks.
Pop Journalism Quiz*
If this headline had been written by Denyse O’Leary, it would be about:
a) the new Monet exhibit at the local art museum
b) dating tips
c) a restaurant review
d) an article urging readers to buy her book
What the fuck, Denyse? If you’re going to write an article headlined “Are most Discovery Institute Fellows evangelical Christians?” at least make an attempt to answer the question before you jump on the train to Red Herring City. Your flippant answer followed by hundreds of words that have absolutely nothing to do with the question lead curious minds to think you’re hiding something.
For example, how many Discovery Institute Fellows are Moonies? We all know Jonathan Wells is a Moonie, but who else? You did, after all use the word in its plural form. Who are the agnostics? How many Discovery Institute Fellows are Christian Reconstructionists? Although my late grandmother was a Pulitzer Prize winner, I don’t know too much about journalism. But even I know about the concept of “Who, What, Why, When, Where and How“. From what little understanding I have as a layman, I know it’s one of the fundamentals of reporting. Maybe Denyse is once again trying to win over the younger crowd by taking a stab at New Journalism. Seeing that New Journalism is no longer new, that’s probably the case. After all, Denyse O’Leary is someone who writes the words “like totally” without irony.
Sometimes I feel as if I’m picking on Denyse, but then I realize that she’s the one with a blog named “Mindful Hack“. What a pretentious load of crap. If you’re going to wear your status as a writer on your sleeve, at least have the decency to learn how to write.
* The correct answer, of course, is b & d.
I’m running out of naming options for these increasingly sick people. I started out a month ago with Church Burners. Then I had to add Ebola Boys. Church Burning Ebola Boys. Now what - Church Burning Baby Butchering Ebola Boys? That’s too long. Too unwieldy. Any suggestions would be appreciated. (Source: 
January 21st, 2008 at 11:44 am
I thought the correct answer would be “d and possibly one of the others. But we couldn’t tell either”.
Bob
January 21st, 2008 at 1:26 pm
That would normally be the case, but the “Kill 350″ is a sure giveaway that Denyse is going to tell us about past romantic experiences.
January 21st, 2008 at 2:00 pm
If Denyse written the headline it would read:
Darwinists Want You To Think Japs Attacked Pearl Harbor Seal
Buy My Book
The Rest of the article, In Densye-Style:
The Darwinists caused the Japs to attack our Pearl Harbor Seals Saturday, and the Pope doesn’t really know. Pius XII however, want you to buy my book, even though I am Canadian. Red, blue, topographic, me too, but not, however, nevertheless, in a like manner. I also direct your attention to ID, that is the only theory that will save our country from the nefarious, and evil, bad, yet strong Darwinists. But the very handsome Mike Behe, and sultry Dr. Dembski, can save us yet, but I think, so it is in the mind, buy my book.
And to all of you that have written into me asking for clarification to me, about my articles, that I have written and also to say what do I mean, I think you have to just buy my book, or maybe but, I think so, however.
January 21st, 2008 at 2:18 pm
You just forgot the hip language, J.
Throw in some “like”s and “yo”s. Maybe a “beeatch” or two.
January 21st, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Outstanding work, J-Dog. I never knew you were fluent in Denysese. It’s too bad the spam filter catches posts with more than 3 links - you could have linked every other word to one of Denyse’s blogs.
January 21st, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Yo, What it is, as you kidz say it. Thank’s Y’all, be cool beatches, however. Yo, like, you know?
January 27th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
good take on Denyse….I’m glad Orac linked over here
She does tend to use titles that almost hint that there might be credible information in her posts but it usually amounts to “my religion overturns all of science and Darwinists are evil but i have no evidence and i am a catholic grandma so don’t pick on me for lying for Christ”….I paraphrase, of course
I love it when science deniers post some science denying crap but then in the same post they get the theology wrong too……Denyse does this often
January 27th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Hi, CleveDan,
I like your summation of Denyse’s style. I’m always amazed that she’s seen as one of the less hyperbolic of the cdesign proponentsists, when most of her stuff is whining about the evils of “materialism” and of course, the dreaded “Darwinism”.
If she didn’t fancy herself a writer, her prose-ac wouldn’t merit any attention, but I find her sense of self-importance to be extremely entertaining.
p.s. - thanks for the Behe quote; I’ll be updating the RTQG later tonight.
January 27th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
hi, found my way here through respectful insolence and was heartily enjoying myself till i see mention that flipping denyse is canadian. then i started to cry for my poor motherland, and feeling the kind of embarrassment of nation i haven’t felt since we released celine on you poor bastards. fuck.
January 27th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Hey, Greg! I also ended up popping off about Denyse’s post, but also about Rob Crowther’s reply to same, which basically was irritable. My point, to both Denyse and Rob, is that it really doesn’t matter how many of the Fellows are evangelicals, it’s obvious that evangelicals provided the agenda, the funding and most of the initial energy to get ID off the ground. You can read the longer, cheekier version of that here.
Enjoy!
January 28th, 2008 at 7:08 am
I’m sort of glad that Denyse is Canadian. It at least is a nice reminder that the intellectually vacuous ID proponent isn’t purely an American phenomena.
January 28th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Every time I read anything of hers, I hear a little sucking sound, as though someone is trying to vacuum my brains out through my ears or something….
January 28th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Will you be ‘riffing on this’?
November 2nd, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Sadly, I was actually… seduced, today, to read some of her posts, for the first time. I didn’t even know she existed, till today. There was a link to her blogs in a more-or-less open-minded English-speaking Turkish blog, all in favour of Peace in the Mediterranean, human rights, etc. and (as a bilingual Greek) I felt compelled to sympathize. Then, to my amazement, I found myself captive of this woman’s rants, some of them not badly written, I must say. It’s like tasty, good-smelling dinner being served to the unsuspecting (blog-)guest, elating one’s intellectual appetite, at first, and then….
Waaaaam…. Bang…. Thank you maaam…. HOW DID YOU manage it, stabbing my mind at the back with SUCH IMMENSE NONSENSE?
Some of her poisonous, irrational made me feel QUITE ridiculous, having not noticed it at first. E.g. this extract:
Actually, never mind human life, I don’t think even animal life can be fully explained - or even reasonably explained - in Darwinian terms. And plant life - definitely not! Lamarck and Mendel could tell you far more about plants than Darwin ever did.
It was ChristopherSick’s blog who passed on this hot information to my temporarily seduced brain.
Oh, dear! I wish there was a God, who could receive my complaint.
LORD, MY MONEY BACK!
My time back!
pleeezz