CBEB’s

Timothy Birdnow, he of the “Where are the giant mammaried mosquitos?” fame, apparently never learned his lesson. The lesson that everyone else learned from the affair is that Timothy Birdnow is one of the most ignorant people on the face of the earth when it comes to discussing biological evolution, but poor Tim is still as clueless as ever.

Birdnow’s blog is, for the most part, an unreadable love letter to Jack Kemp with a dash of “THE BROWN PEOPLE ARE COMING!!!!ONE!” paranoia thrown in. I like to think of it as Little Green Footballs for the Lawrence Welk crowd. However, a few days ago Birdnow removed his puckered lips from Jack Kemp’s sphincter long enough to post an incredibly succinct bit of idiocy.

Birdnow linked to an amazing piece of well-poisoning at News With Views - a site that can only appeal to those who think Worldnet Daily is a cesspool of America-hating liberalism - concerning “Darwin Day“. The author, Sharon Hughes, apparently didn’t get the memo that creationism and Intelligent Design are two different things (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). As she rants about the evil atheists, she asks, rhetorically:

Could these, and other such worldviews, be a force behind the battle over allowing creationism to be taught in schools? Yes, I think so.

Take the Bangles cassette out of your Sony Walkman and join the rest of us in the 21st Century, Sharon; the battle over creationism in schools ended in 1987. In the very next paragraph, Sharon makes the baby Dembski blush:

While objective scientists are investigating whether or not there is evidence that life on earth is the work of an Intelligent Designer, and despite the fact that ID (Intelligent Design) is called a theory, many in the scientific community do not recognize it as a theory but rather as a religious view, and therefore reject investigating the possibility of an Intelligent Designer.

It would take more words for me to deconstruct that sentence than it took Sharon Hughes to write it, so I’ll sum it up with a simple graphic.

Scientists aren’t researching Intelligent Design because scientists are researching Intelligent design.

The entire article reads like a composite of every hit-and-run posting ever posted at the No Answers In Genesis message board. My head is still reeling from reading so much Denyse O’Leary over the past few days, so I don’t want to spend too much time digesting Ms. Hughes’ PRATTs. Instead, let’s look at Timothy Birdnow’s short-but-sweet commentary on Hughes’ “Darwin Day” article:

And you Darwinists/Secular Humanists claim it`s not a religion…

That’s right, Mr. Birdnow, we claim it’s not a religion.

Just like believing in racial equality isn’t a religion on the basis of Martin Luther King Day

Just like being patriotic and/or lighting fireworks isn’t a religion on the basis of Independence Day.

Just like eating turkey and watching football isn’t a religion on the basis of Thanksgiving.

For the uninitiated, Timothy Birdnow is basically For the Kids‘ male counterpart. Whenever it’s brought to his attention how monumentally and colossally wrong he is, don’t expect an “Oops, my bad” out of him; instead, he will climb up on his cross and let the whole world know how mean the evil Darwinists are.

It would be too simple - and dignified - for Mr. Birdnow to simply admit that there is such thing as a secular holiday and a day to honor the Father of Modern Biology has nothing whatsoever to do with religion. However, it is more important for him to maintain his delusion that he actually knows what he’s talking about.

Some people never learn.