CBEB’s

Yesterday I used the phrase “three thumbs up”, a phrase that I’ve heard before, but it might have a different meaning to other people. In my family, the phrase “three thumbs up” holds special meaning…

Here’s the deal: my maternal grandfather was born with two thumbs on his left hand. Not two fully opposable thumbs, but a full thumb with the extra digit sprouting out of the second joint of his proper thumb. As kids, we would express satisfaction by saying, “Grandpa would give that three thumbs up”.

My brother met his first wife in England, so when she moved to the states we had to warn her about Grandpa. Not that he was some sort of lunatic letch, but Grandpa was definitely a grouch. For example, the mere mention of Nacogdoches would for some reason send my grandfather on a rant about what a shitty singer George Jones is. The family’s favorite Grandpa quote occurred when a commercial for a Jim Nabors album aired on TBS:

You know, he might be as queer as a three-dollar bill, but goddamn! that sonofabitch can sing.

But I digress… my brother, his fiancée and I were driving around looking at Christmas lights, and my brother was giving his future wife the lowdown on Grandpa. When he told her about the two thumbs on his left hand, he added, “Grandpa used to hitchhike around the country, and when he stuck out his thumb, two trucks would pull over”. I had to think about it for a few seconds, then I nearly passed out from laughing.

The next day I told the joke to my little brother and he got really pissed. It was sick and wrong and in really bad taste, and I had better not tell that joke to mom. Of course, I immediately told the joke to mom, and she laughed. She even told her mom, who loved the joke. I don’t know if Grandpa ever heard it, but he probably would have laughed, too.

A few years ago, I was walking to the corner store and a neighbor pulled over his car and was about to ask me if I needed a ride when my brother drove by and pulled over, too. I opted to take a ride from my brother, and as I got in the car I said, “Damn, now I know how Grandpa felt when he hitchhiked”.

The next time I use the phrase “three thumbs up”, I’ll include a link to this post so that people will know what I’m talking about.