CBEB’s

Here is a complete listing of all the quotes currently entered in the RTQG. If you’d like to submit a quote, just leave it in the comments. Be sure to include the author and source. Thanks!

Oh… and lest anyone be offended by the word “Tard”, it’s an acronym for The Argument Regarding Design.

…if Evolution were true there would be millions of fossils of in-between creatures, plus half-dog/half-ape, half-human/half-elephant transitional creatures all over the earth.

What a total joke Evolution is. — OUTKAST from World on the Web

…intelligent design is just the Logos theology of John’s Gospel restated in the idiom of information theory. — William Dembski from Touchstone magazine

50% of students in high school, will lose their faith for two reasons. One is what is being taught in “Science class”. Two is peer pressure from others who have learned the samething.

Of that 50%, those who go to college, 70% will lose their faith. And those who do not conform, or act like the others to fit in, while in science class. Will fail the course because the professor will take a bias attitude towards them. Even encurage of classmates to make fun of them during class, for what they believe. — Admin3 from Evolution Fairytale Forum

Actually it makes me feel like doing some pain experiments on PZ Myers. I don’t believe he feels pain. All the blood and screaming from my fists pounding his face to a pulp would be nothing more significant than an automobile engine leaking oil and bearings making noise from lack of lubrication. Of course I could be wrong. -ds — DaveScot from Uncommon Descent

NOTE: If you doubt this is possible, how is it there are PYGMIES + DWARFS?? — Jim Pinkoski from Pinkoski.com

And for your information, the THEORY of evolution did not even really exist until 1859 - and by then we were on our fifteenth President. Ever check how many of our Presidents have referenced our “Creator” in their Inauguration speeches? Actually, I’ve never heard of a U.S. President publicly acknowledging that they DIDN’T believe in creation. — TVV from boycottchucknorris.com

And so, the question for evolutionists: How do paranormal capabilities evolve? — medved from Free Conservatives

Any research study that compares genomes of animals qualifies as an ID study despite the intentions of the researchers. — Jerry from Uncommon Descent

As far as I am concerned if an answer to a question isn’t in the bible, then the you have no business asking the question. A few years ago when my wife suddenly had to get an emergency c-section I was scared. But I didnt turn to any book about quarks. Luckily I had my palm pilot with me, which just happened to have the entire King James bible on it! I read a few passages that gave me the strength to pray for her and the baby to get through this ordeal. I sure didn’t need any useless trivia books about quarks to find comfort in.

I have very little use for science. In fact it is in impediment to getting close to God. — spreadingtheword from Christian Forums

As for your example, I’m not going to take the bait. You’re asking me to play a game: “Provide as much detail in terms of possible causal mechanisms for your ID position as I do for my Darwinian position.” ID is not a mechanistic theory, and it’s not ID’s task to match your pathetic level of detail in telling mechanistic stories. — William Dembski from ISCID Forums

At the same time that research in the Bible Code has taken off, research in a seemingly unrelated field has taken off as well, namely, biological design. These two fields are in fact closely related. Indeed, the same highly improbable, independently given patterns that appear as the equidistant letter sequences in the Bible Code appear in biology as functionally integrated (”irreducibly complex”) biological systems, of the sort Michael Behe discussed in Darwin’s Black Box. — William Dembski from FIRST THINGS: A Journal of Religion, Culture, and Public Life

Believe it or not, Darwin, the original Darwinists and neo-Darwinist theorists today do use supernatural powers inherent in the human mind and in human intelligence to imagine, concoct theories about, and believe in, human evolution in and out of ancient Africa. — jcrawford from Debating Christianity

Besides, our model is the early christians, they had a great old time burning books. I think one time they counted they cost of the books as well. Lets have thousands of good old book burnings. Bring the marshmallows! — dad from Christian Forums

Congressmen who are liberal are more likely to have slutty daughters. And therefore, they are more likely to support abortion for selfish, personal reasons. — Debbie Schlussel from debbieschlussel.com

Creation as described genesis is a reality… and of course there is an evolution of things (the reason why you look like a combo of your mom and dad) but you cannot evolve outside your class. Example: plant kingdom, animal kingdom, people kingdom….. You are created in the image and likeness of an amazing Creation…. but if you want to believe that an amoeba became a monkey after a million years and then fell off a tree, tail was cut off, and we got jobs and became humans…. that is fine …. you can believe you are made in the image of a monkey.
But I prefer to see you and all people as something special and unique - Godlike. — michael from boycottchucknorris.com

Davescot
If you can give me a clear and precisely worded example of an `intelligent’ agency causing a violation of the second law, please do.
Me writing this sentence. -ds — DaveScot from Uncommon Descent

Dawkins has also suggested that atheists, like gays, should come out of the closet. Well, what if they don’t want to? I don’t know if Dawkins would support “outing” atheists. Can an atheist “rights” group be far behind? Hate crimes laws to protect atheists? Affirmative action for unbelievers? An Atheist Annual Parade, complete with dancers and floats? Atheist History Month? — Dinesh D’Souza from AOL News Bloggers

Did you know that all bulls are males? How can these bulls mate to have more bulls? It’s your funeral evolutionists. Admit evolution is a pathetic fantasy created by scientists because they can’t accept God. Do you honestly believe, HONESTLY believe that one tiny cell had all the genetic material to make all living things on Earth? — eternal from IIDB

Don’t you know that evolution is basically a racist concept? Some evolutionists still teach that white people evolved from “negroes” who evolved from apes– Meaning “white people are more evolved!” — Tim Todd Ministries from Somebody’s Monkey: The Truth About Evolution

Dover certainly wasn’t ID’s Waterloo. Wisconsin may well be evolution’s Waterloo. — William Dembski from Baptist Press

Faith is a uniquely Christian concept… — unknown author (Conservapedia entry for “Faith”) from Conservapedia

Furthermore, we don`t even see crossovers between the 5 Phylla (classes of animals) anywhere, at any time. Where are the giant mammaried mosquitos? Where are the snakes which deliver live young? I haven`t seen too many feathered fish around lately! — Timothy Birdnow from American Thinker

How about this: Imagine a giant raccoon passed gas and perhaps the resulting gas might have created the vast variety of life we see on Earth. And if you don’t accept the giant raccoon flatulence theory for the origin of life, you must be a fundamentalist Christian nut who believes the Earth is flat. That’s basically how the argument for evolution goes. — Ann Coulter from Godless

I have a pile of goo in the corner of my backyard. If macro evolution holds true, there is a chance that in 100 billion years (or more…just keep adding zeroes until people get ‘awed’ by the amazing science) and it will turn into an incredibly complex organism capable of thought, decision making ability and emotions. — Jeremy from boycottchucknorris.com

I hope someone keeps track of the 11 parents and their children. Everyone in Dover knows damn well that no children were forced to listen to the 60 second announcement regarding evolution and intelligent design. So what you have is 11 parents whose religious hostility extended to such a trivial matter they were willing to make the tiny school district pay a million dollars.

I grew up in a small town and when a few people pull crap like that that hurts everyone there will be payback. I won’t be at all surprised if the children of these parents are so badly ostracized and abused by other students that they’re forced to find another school and the parents will be snubbed and insulted and their cars keyed and their coworkers and supervisors making their lives miserable that they’ll all end up moving away.

I hope that’s all tracked so that the next group of parents that gets their panties in a bunch and volunteers to the be the designated shitheads know what it’s going to cost them. — DaveScot from Uncommon Descent

I often debate with evolutionists because I believe that they are narrow mindedly and dogmatically accepting evolution without questioning it. I don’t really care how God did what He did. I know He did it. — TexasSky from Christian Forums

I wish some other creationists would help me. The flood becomes harder and harder to support when you get more information. — Bible Defender from Christian Forums

I wonder if they ever consider that if evolution was true, why didnt all monkeys “evolve” into man??? — LivnForChrist from Rapture Ready

If the Bible is wrong when it tells us it is infallible, then it contradicts itself. If it contradicts itself, then it is unreliable. If it is unreliable, then our faith is totally shattered and Christianity is a lie. You need to seriously reconsider your logic. — uscchica09 from Christian Forums

If you’re worried about your wicked behavior being watched by a camera by the police department, let me tell you there is a bigger camera that is watching all of your wicked behavior. It’s call the Lord God Jesus Christ. And he sees everything. So turn off your computer porn and stop rubbing yourself in unholy ways, stop picking up whores in cheap bars and stop shoving long objects up your under-hole. Yes, God is watching, don’t be afraid of Big Brother, because Big Jesus is watching and you will be swimming in a molting lake of fire if you don’t hand over your life to Jesus, libtards. I’m praying for you, it’s probably a lost cause, but I’m earning points with Jesus. — Maxine from The Daily Page - Madison, Wisconsin

It doesn’t matter what I say, as I am a (gasp) Creationist, and as such am declared a pirahna to all scientific thought. — For the Kids from KCFS Forums

It is a pet peeve of mine when evolutionists equivocate on what evolution is. They equivocate on the word evolution by claiming micro-evolution is “evolution”, then essentially declare victory. Then we get the usual strawman arguments to follow. I find this to be one of the most intellectually dishonest arguments going, and never intended this forum to tolerate this kind of blatant equivocation. — Fred Williams from Evolution Fairytale Forum

It just ocurred to me that according to Ernst Mayr I must be a different species from Inuits. We’re reproductively isolated by geography and there isn’t a snowball’s chance in south central Texas I’d be attracted to an Inuit woman anyhow even though we’re probably still physically compatible on a hypothetical basis sort of like brown bears and polar bears. — DaveScot from Uncommon Descent

It shouldn’t take a botanist to understand how that works but still Ed just didn’t get it. Evolution is all important to the Texas grapefruit industry says he. I didn’t bother pointing out that grapefruit were purposely hybridized in the Barbados a hundred years before Darwin was born. It wouldn’t have made any difference. — DaveScot from Uncommon Descent

It’s OK to teach Darwin, but you’ve got to balance it with something else, such as Creationism. — William “I never said Creationism” Buckingham from Fox 43 News

Judge John E. Jones on the other hand is a good old boy brought up through the conservative ranks. He was state attorney for D.A.R.E, an Assistant Scout Master with extensively involved with local and national Boy Scouts of America, political buddy of Governor Tom Ridge (who in turn is deep in George W. Bush’s circle of power), and finally was appointed by GW hisself. Senator Rick Santorum is a Pennsylvanian in the same circles (author of the “Santorum Language” that encourages schools to teach the controversy) and last but far from least, George W. Bush hisself drove a stake in the ground saying teach the controversy. Unless Judge Jones wants to cut his career off at the knees he isn’t going to rule against the wishes of his political allies. Of course the ACLU will appeal. This won’t be over until it gets to the Supreme Court. But now we own that too. — DaveScot from Uncommon Descent

Let’s see, it is alright to teach evolution that states we were created by freak accidents and are mere animals. But to provide an opposing view that we might have been created for higher (than pure animals) purposes is harmful? If you do not have rules to live by then I guess that we must be as Darwin thought, a form of animal. In that case I choose to try to follow the words in the bible. I require guidance, as the rules that I make up never seem to work for me. — Walking Tall from Hattiesburg American Forums

Make sure your answer uses Scripture, not logic. — cdevidal from CARM

Male primates don’t shave. They never shaved. They do not grow beards. Male humans who never shave grow beards. Therefore humans and primates do not share a common ancestor. — LittleNipper from Christian Forums

Me and like-minded Christian students are trying to organize a mock stoning of openly gay students at our campus. We will be using crumpled up gray/brown construction paper to represent rocks, and will recite bible verses in opposition to their sinful nature. We will throw a volley or two of these “rocks” at every Gay person we happen to encounter that day. — Rebelscum954 from CARM

Mutations in the ebg system are clearly not an example of evolution but mutation and natural selection allowing for adaptation to the environment. — Georgia Purdom from Answers in Genesis

My kids don’t go to public schools, what do I care? — Michael Behe from Flock of Dodos (outakes)

No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest “cover” of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims. — Trinidad and Tobago from CARM

On all such forums Creationists are outnumbered. This means the Atheists and Evolutionists can mostly control the direction of the discussion, and this direction is then always some scientific detail. They lead us onto the scientific terrain and slaughter us there. We can possibly not win against Atheists and Evolutionists with scientific arguments, but we can win with logic. — ClearSky from Christian Forums

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn’t possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. — awesomestnerd from Smashboards

So Huckabee doesn’t believe in evolution huh? Great! That tells me that he believes in Almighty God and can actually think! Too bad [Fred] Thompson’s mama wasn’t pro-choice or yours for that matter… — Glockman from boycottchucknorris.com

So in early 1990, the weather engineering operations over North America were assumed from the FSB/KGB by the Yakuza/Aum Shinrikyo teams, and operations continued with the Yakuza’s leased giant scalar interferometers. The weather engineering against the United States continues today under the rogue Japanese teams on site in Russia, with direct FSB/KGB supervision. — Tom Bearden from The Tom Beardon Website

Society will only benifit if the ACLU becomes a mere memory. If the ACLU would drop off the face of the earth, the surging wave of applause would drown out what few tears would be shed.

I cannot imagine a more evil organization. To say I despise any member of the ACLU would be an understatement. The ACLU is a threat to children, freedom, and the constitution.

The ACLU must be destroyed! — MrMannn from Rapture Ready

The banana-the atheist’s nightmare.

Note that the banana:

1) Is shaped for human hand
2) Has non-slip surface
3) Has outward indicators of inward content:
Green-too early,
Yellow-just right,
Black-too late.
4) Has a tab for removal of wrapper
5) Is perforated on wrapper
6) Bio-degradable wrapper
7) Is shaped for human mouth
Has a point at top for ease of entry
9) Is pleasing to taste buds
10) Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy

To say that the banana happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to say that no one designed the Coca Cola can. — Ray Comfort from The Atheist Test Website

The bottom line is, the theory of evolution will remain a theory until empircal data is obtained that proves that dogs can produce non-dogs and/or dogs came from rocks 4.6 billion years ago. — Tal from EvC Forum

The New Downtrodden
DaveScot

When they came for the creation scientists,
I remained silent;
I was not a creation scientist.

When they locked up the abortion protesters,
I remained silent;
I was not an abortion protester.

When they came for the intelligent design theorists,
I did not speak out;
I was not an intelligent design theorist.

When they came for the strongly religious,
I did not speak out;
I was not strongly religious.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out. — DaveScot from Uncommon Descent

There are a lot of jealous magicians out there who downplay the reality of what Blaine is doing and try to explain it away. He does levitate. He does so by demonic power. The scripture speaks of lying wonders in the last days. — Jerome from Bibleforums.org

There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don’t know that much about it does not bother me in the least. — AV1611VET from Christian Forums

There is not a single passage or concept in the Bible that would be offensive to any human on the planet. — Gary in Indianapolis from The Indianapolis Star Forums

There was no evidence in the 19th century for evolution, only the notion that Black people looked like monkeys, period. Then “scientists” went about looking for evidence of this. Therefore, the idea for evolution came from racism, pure and simply. — Carico from Christian Forums

There’s no such thing as being an evolutionist and a Christian at the same time any more than there is being a Christian and a Nazi at the same time. — medved from Free Conservatives

There’s plenty of people who think that teaching evolution absent any criticism or alternative beliefs is the state disfavoring certain religions. I was pretty sure the constitution guarantees equal treatment under the law. Where’s the justice for all those folks? — DaveScot from Uncommon Descent

Very I’m a die-hard Creationist who happily admits to your so called ‘intellectual laziness’ and who is -very- proud of it (considering what you meant by that phrase) Isn’t it amazing though, according to all of you (or at least the evolutionists that I’ve talked to in the past) we should all be getting smarter, yet even the most brilliant today don’t know how they built the pyramids or stonehedge without our fantasic modern equipment.. they’re not even sure how the pyramids were built, period! And yet we’re all so very intellectual and smart! Survival of the fittest at work, yes indeedy. — AmericanGirl from Christian Forums

We aren’t evolving..if scientists think we are evolving then why don’t they leave siamese twins stuck together at birth. i mean…maybe thats how we are “evolving”. oh and if we came from monkeys, then why are there still monkeys? are they the stupid ones? and what happened to the little thumb on our feet? did it just get sucked into our foot slowly. and if my dad has a tattoo, then how come i wasnt born with the same tattoo? evolution is a load of BULL. God created us exactly how we are..nothing is changing..and well, if people wanna reject God, that is definately their loss. — sammywammy from Christian Forums

We’ve been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture. — Pastor Ray Mummert from Associated Press

What does a functioning brain have to do with the Bible? — LittleLambofJesus from Christian Forums

Why is it that apes and monkeys have no beards or mustaches. Apes do not seen to be into body art or body piercing either. This is just an observation. Beards have been around seemingly since Adam and yet I see no connection with primates. Come to think of it, I’ve seen no ape sporting the “Tarzan” look. After supposed “millions” of years of cavemen hanging around with apes, apes still are not into sporting clothing. In fact, they (unlike us) do not even seem to understand the idea of modesty. It would seem that apart from a few similarities in form, that is where the similarities end. They are animals—–we are humans. — LittleNipper from Christian Forums

Why is it that spiders could spin and weave a million years ago, but they try to say people could only spin or weave 20,000 years ago. — JohnR7 from Christian Forums

You are banned. You are not a Christian for Christians don’t accuse brothers and sisters in Christ of being non-Christian. — Troy from Bibliocality

You forgot that this nation was founded on Judeo-Christian beliefs not on the “Theory of Evolution”, which is not even science but a religion. The religion of Evolution has removed God and the Bible from our schools and now we have a generation of children that do not believe in a moral standard (e.g. 10 Commandments) and that morals are relative per person. — BOYCOTT ARNOLD from boycottchucknorris.com

You sound like some pro-globalist neo-nazi loon waiting for a free ticket to the bathhouse. We need a Constitutional Amendment to require only Christians may be elected to any public office, and all homosexual AIDs carriers need a red “Scarlett” letter “A” tatooed on their foreheads! So we can keep them away from our kids! — hypo from boycottchucknorris.com

7 Responses to “ RTQG ”

1. # 1 PTET Says:
   January 26th, 2008 at 3:48 am

   “Faith is a uniquely Christian concept…”

   The opening to the official entry for “Faith” in Conservapedia.

   And Jebus Wept.

2. # 2 JanieBelle Says:
   January 26th, 2008 at 8:13 am

   It’s always hard to figure out what is the funniest thing about Conservapedia.

   Is it the ridiculous crap they put up themselves?
   Is it the ridiculous crap put up by trolls?
   Or is it the fact that they can’t tell the difference?

   Of course, the same questions arise about UD or any of the other Tard Mines.

3. # 3 Mister DNA Says:
   January 26th, 2008 at 4:11 pm

   30 years from now, the concept of Conservatism is going to be an unrecognizable mess. Conservapedia is basically a right-wing version of what can best be described as “hippie bullshit”.

   Don’t like reality? Make up your own!

4. # 4 PTET Says:
   January 27th, 2008 at 2:55 am

   “In a bizarre liberal study marking Father’s Day, Yale researchers found that male Congressmen with daughters are more likely to vote for “reproductive rights” … The conclusion they want you to get from this is that pro-life Congressmen are insensitive to women and don’t have contact with any.

   But I’d draw a different conclusion: Congressmen who are liberal are more likely to have slutty daughters. And therefore, they are more likely to support abortion for selfish, personal reasons.”

   Debbie Schlussel, debbieschlussel.com, June 14, 2007

5. # 5 CleveDan Says:
   January 27th, 2008 at 5:19 pm

   “My kids don’t go to public schools, what do I care?”–Michael Behe from the “Flock of Dodos” outtakes

6. # 6 Ptaylor Says:
   February 12th, 2008 at 6:26 pm

   “Believe it or not, it really helps that the other side thinks we’re such morons.”
   - William Dembski, Uncommon Descent, March 24 2007.

7. # 7 Iggy Says:
   March 23rd, 2008 at 10:46 am

   I love this one….

   Atheists are completely illogical because they only know to use reasoning and logic.

   That’s not logical. Should use the bible instead.

   ThomasJeffersonn, Yahoo Answers

   I did steal it from fundies say the darndest things, though. I have never mined this quality of Tard myself…..*sigh* Someday….

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